For the longest time, my support system was from a not so wonderful boyfriend. The longer I was in that relationship, the lower my self esteem got. I started to feel like I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, and I started to see myself in a really negative light. I still suffer from that today. In a lot of way, I lack confidence. I started to become very pessimistic about love. I still am.
I hide behind books and movies for romance. I live vicariously through my friends. I sigh over wedding magazines. I never stop to think that I deserve that kind of happiness. I'm not saying I need someone to feel happy. I'm not saying that at all. I am pretty happy being alone because I'm sort of an introvert. I'm awkward in large groups, and always felt more comfortable in a smaller group. I'm perfectly happy with my own company.
After my heartbreak, I realized who my friends (I know this sounds really cheesy and cliche) were. Some of my friends didn't know what to say around me, so the issue was swept under the rug. Some of my friends just wanted to know what happened, and cared less about how I was feeling.
I do have a lot of good friends. I know that they would be there to talk if I ever needed it.
Surprisingly, I became closer to my brother. He doesn't sugar coat things for me, and makes sure I'm being realistic. He would tell me to move on, and give things a chance. It's nice to have someone there to always support you (even though he would never say it straight out).
My biggest support system is from my BFF. She's always a phone call away. She's always there to lend me an ear. She's around to encourage my crazy dreams. She's always there to tell me great things will happen. She's the real reason why I started to laugh again. She helped me learn to hope again. To be open to the idea that maybe someday... I will be married with 3 children on a ranch. :)
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