I have the puppy fever again. I keep thinking how great it would be if I could get a dog of my own.
A dog who loves me, and wants to be with me all the time.
But the thing is I don't have the time. I want to go back to school. I want to work. I want to travel. I want to do everything.
And having a dog just doesn't fit into my schedule.
So for now I'll just wish I had a dog. SIGH.
I think I'm going to go blind from the Friends marathon we've been watching. We've watched a ton of episodes, and I am reminded how much I love that show.
It makes me laugh. It makes me cry. It makes me sigh. It makes me angry. It makes me sad. It makes me happy.
I think sometimes it even lightens my mood. I think we all need that right now. Something to distract us. Even if it's just temporarily.
I feel like all I've been doing lately is eat. I spend the day lounging around wondering what my next meal will be.
Will it be tofu? Curry? Yakisoba? Soup? Eggs? Sandwiches? Nothing?
I realize that I spend a lot of time thinking about food, and all the things I want to eat.
I blame it on Frances... Whenever we get together we just sit around eating and talking. Sometimes we'll even nap or go somewhere exciting like Target.
Even after we finish eating, we'll talk about food... sometimes we'll pull out some snacks after we finish a meal.
Then I get bitter that Frances is super thin.
Then I go back to eating some more. Haha.
I think my favorite foods are sushi, tofu, and eggs. I seriously can't live without them.
My hair is short again. I feel so liberated. I feel so free.
The only thing that is making me sad is that fact that my perm is still there, and it's making my hair look like a bush.
No matter how many times I brush it, it still looks like my hair has never seen a comb in its life.
My hair makes me look like I am crying out for help. It has issues. It can't be tamed.
But I am too lazy to use the straightener. Haha. Oh well, I'll just be that girl with the weird hair. I can live with that.
Why is life so complicated?
Why can't things be simple?
Why am I always confused?
Why is it so hard for me to do the right things?
I don't know why I'm such a complicated person. I know that I act based on my emotions. A lot of times I don't use reason, and that tend to lead to complications. I wish I was more reasonable. I wish I didn't take things to the heart.
I always wish I could just brush everything under a rug, and pretend the problem doesn't exist.
But it does exist, and I have to deal with it.
I have to hurt someone, and that hurts me. I have to be cruel, and that hurts me. I have to get over it, and that hurts me.
Man, why is life so hard?
Does anyone read this blog? Does anyone care? Haha. Does these posts even interest anyone?
Hello? Is anyone there?
A lot of times I wonder why I even keep a blog. No one probably reads it. I never have anything interesting to say. Why would anyone even want to read it? Half the things I say don't even make an sense.
I think I have a need to write. I've been neglecting my diary for awhile now because sometimes it's just too hard to write in it. Did I just hear someone just call me lazy? I meant that sometimes I don't want to put my private thoughts into words. Sometimes it's better just locked into your head, and hidden away.
But many times, I have this urge to write. To write how I feel. To express my thoughts and emotions. To free my mind.
Blogging does that for me. It helps me organize my thoughts even though I don't expect anyone to ever read it. It's for me to clear my mind. It's for me to let loose.
It would be nice if someone read my blog, but I don't mind. Maybe it's better people don't see the things that run through my head... People already find me strange enough as it is. Haha.
Did you know there were 5 stages of grief? They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Sometimes I think I'm on stage one where I am still in denial. I still think Long is going to walk through the door with his laundry basket, and say hello in that voice. Maybe he's sitting in the living room singing Fuzzy Wuzzy. Or maybe he sitting on his computer playing games...
It's weird. I don't know how to deal with death. How am I suppose to feel? What is a normal way to handle how I feel? Is it normal to be mad? Or cry at random times?
I don't pretend to feel as much pain as the family, but I feel the lost deeply. He was like my older brother, and we grew up with each other.
We'll never know why, but I know, I believe, and I trust that he's happier now.
He's probably on a cloud laughing at all the fuss we are making...
Long, I've always loved you like you were my older brother. You were there for me and Frances while we were growing up, and I'll always cherish those memories.
I remember the water balloon fights, the dog walks, the kite flying, the Saturday morning cartoons, the beach days, the jokes, and most of all... I remember your laugh.
I hope you rest in peace, Long.
I hope you can see how much we all love you from heaven...
Of course something had to happen while I was in Zion. You guys would of been shocked if I hadn't fell at least once.
Well, I fell more than once. It was more like 67 times.
Apparently, I have a reason not to like water. I fell in the river so many times that it got old. In the picture above, I had to be rescued because I couldn't stand up straight without slipping back down. I was even being carried by the river.
Do you notice that only 3 people from my group tried to save me? The other 5 were on the side laughing at me. I have great friends. Hahaha.
I have to admit that I didn't mind falling, and that it was pretty funny. I'm glad people can laugh at my klutziness instead of getting mad. :)
I love going on hikes even though I am extremely slow. When I say slow, I mean really slow. I'm just go my own turtle pace.
We go on crazy hikes. We go up so high that when we come back down, I wonder how I even did it.
I'm proud of myself. I know it sounds silly, and the hikes really aren't that impossible. It's just that I didn't know how far I could go until I pushed myself.
I love being in nature, and I love those Zion hikes. There's always something so peaceful about being in the wild...
I had a great time in Zion, and it was mostly because of the people. I think I had a best time in Zion this time because of the people that were there. I could hold a conversation with them, and joke around. It made all the difference in the world.
We shared many laughs over my falling in the river, fights over who does the dishes, watching weird yet entertaining movies, and countless other things...
I had a terrific week with these people. It wouldn't have been the same without them. :)
Our host was the most wonderful host. I realize all the stress he went through, but the things he made were amazing...
I was in food heaven, and he was even considerate enough to make a lot of the food vegetarian friendly. I do have the greatest friends. :)
Even though I did a ton of hikes, I think I gained weight from eating all the delicious food.
Zion is definitely my heaven. I'm in love, madly in love, and it had to be with a place...
I went on a 5 day trip to Zion, Utah for the past few days. That would explain my disappearance from my beloved blog.
I had an amazing time. I always do when I go to Zion. I always felt that it was a piece of heaven for me.
This is my third time there, and probably my last because I probably will never get invited again. Something dramatic always usually happens when I am around.
Fun things happened, bad things happened, and I even ended a relationship.
I also barely took any pictures because I didn't want to take my nice camera on dusty hikes. I regret that decision now because I would love to have so many more pictures. I will now just have to rely on the people who were there to supply me with pictures of the trip. (I now am in need of a regular camera... SIGH)
What an interesting trip it was...
...and we are sad. I will post pictures and things we did later. I have to unpack and clean my house. Oh boy. I miss my vacation already...
-Hang
Oh boy! I love going to the museums. There is something so wonderful about art in its many forms. I don't pretend to appreciate as much as some people do, but I do enjoy and adore it a lot.
I'm going to LACMA today, and I'm really excited because I haven't been there for awhile. It's also a free day! Going to a fabulous museum for free? Why yes, count me in. :)
We're also going to the LA Farmer's Market. That place is a really neat place to relax, and enjoy delicious and interesting foods.
Yay! I always get excited about going adventures, no matter how small. I am really easily impressed and amused. It's true, I still laugh at children's jokes. :)
Do you ever feel like you are being too sensitive and unreasonable, but you can't help it? Sometimes I have those moments where I take something too literally, and make a big fuss about it. I can't help it.
There are days when I am extremely cranky, and others where I'm too sensitive, and I even have days where I'm a big meanie.
I hate those days, but even though I know I am being difficult, I can't help but be all dramatic.
I just wanted to make this post to thank the people that have always put up with all my stuff. You guys are the best. :) Please forgive me. I don't mean it.
P.S. Even when I am biting your head off or being cranky, I still love you guys.
I had a senior moment today. As I was heading into the shower, I slipped and banged my knees and ankles. For some reason, I am extremely harmful to my health this week. I don't know if it's because I'm extra klutzy this week or if the universe is out to get me. Haha.
All I know is that I better not fall again anytime soon. There is only so much my body can take.
Who am I kidding? I've always had the travel bug, and I've always wanted to travel. It's always been a dream, and I really itch to go. There are so many things to experience, so many places to explore, so many food to eat, but I have so little money. If only money was no object...
I already know the places I HAVE to travel to, and know that I want to visit every continent, and travel to every state.
I know it's a crazy dream, but I'm allowed to dream big. Aren't I?
And because I gave this a lot of thought, here's the top 5 places I must visit someday:
Someday, I'll fulfill my dreams... someday.
Why do I always forget my camera?! Now that I have a bigger camera, I tend to forget it at home because it's not in my purse. This habit really annoys me especially since I was at the fair today, and couldn't take any pictures. I ended up using Suzanna's camera a lot. I just hope she doesn't mind.
The fairs theme this year is 'think big', and they have giant stuff everywhere. There was a giant cotton candy, a giant ice cream cone, a giant corn dog, etc. It was pretty neat, and I was extremely amused.
I especially liked how the fair was free on the first day if you came at a certain time. I didn't really want to pay the $10 admission fee plus the $5 parking fee. It would of hurt too much.
There was so many cute animals, and it made me glad that I decided to become a vegetarian. I can now look into the cow's eyes, and tell it I won't eat it. I used to not be able to look into their eyes because I ate meat. I would feel too guilty. True story.
I especially loved their onion rings. It was amazing. It was to die for. It was heaven.
Why is fair food so good? Is it because they are fried? Is it because I am not suppose to have it? Is it because I am in love with food?
All I know is that I want more. I think I'll be dreaming about them tonight.
Harry Potter is coming out on Wednesday, and I'm super excited. I've been a fan of Harry Potter for awhile now, so I've been waiting for this movie for awhile.
I just can't wait until Wednesday!
I do, I really do love them. Where would I seriously be without them? They love me even when I am weird, even when I am grumpy, and even when I cause trouble.
Note: Center Piece 
Note: Wedding Cake
I love Disneyland, and almost all things Disney. I adore the rides, the movies, the shows, and the food. The place was made for people like me. People who adore cute characters, fun rides, and having a good time. The place makes me happy even when I know that they make loads of money from people like me.
But yes, there are things that I hate about Disneyland. I dispise the Tower of Terror ride. Oh my gosh. That ride will be the death of me. I am deathly afraid of drops. I just hate that feeling in the bottom of my stomach every time I have to go on it. How can anyone like the falling feeling? That feeling gives me goosebumps.
Maybe that explains why I don't like to climb on things. I have a fear of falling. (And about 6.2 billion other fears.)
The picture above shows exactly how I feel about that ride... It sucks. I also don't get why D,S, and N look so happy... They must be nuts.
I had to buy these shoes. I fell in love with them at first glance, and that is not a common thing when it comes to shoes. Usually, I never find shoes that look nice on me. But these one were flat and some of the most adorable shoes ever made. That's a fact. They had my name written all over it.