No Expectations

I don't expect very much from life. I realize that this may sound rather depressing, but I've learned at a very young age that if you don't expect anything, you won't be disappointed.

My family wasn't well off when I was growing up, so I learned not to ask for many things. My parents did the best they could, but a lot of time I had to go without. I'm not in any way complaining. I loved my childhood, and I had everything I needed (Just not everything I wanted). My parents made sure that I was a happy child.

To escape reality as an teenager, I read or watched movies. I knew that life wasn't always happy, so I would submerge myself into stories that would then proceed to keep me entertain for hours. I lived vicariously through fictional stories, and learned to repress my desires.

I've gotten hurt a lot as an adult, so I learned to expect nothing. I wanted the whole sha-bang as a teenager. I wanted love, children, success, wealth, etc. I've now gotten to the point of my life where I'm ok with never getting married or having kids. I don't expect to become rich (I only hope to be able to survive.), and I now realize that I won't be traveling the whole wide world (I can only hope to travel to parts of it).

I'm ok with that. If I end up marrying a millionaire, own a large company or end up coming a new theory in the world of geology then it'll just be a bonus. Not expecting anything is a self defense. I never become disappointed with my own life. I learned to suppress my emotions by escaping to books, movies, lunch dates with friends, and simply keeping busy.

It's how I keep myself from becoming depressed. I have everything I need now, and should just learn not to expect too much. I do want more, but what I want is what I consider very reasonable.

Maybe I should change how I think, and start thinking big. Having no expectations does keep me from doing a lot of things...